And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
