Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
