Where did you get a picture of my penis
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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