hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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