Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
