I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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