I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
