Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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