idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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