Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
