He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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