I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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