i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize