yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can you bring me the toilet please
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
