Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
