I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
