I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
