when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
