Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
