He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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