Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize