Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
