We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Randomize
