i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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