She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
