I need help removing her.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
