So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
