Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize