I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
