If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
