You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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