Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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