Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
