As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
