I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
