Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
