I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
