He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
