Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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