Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
