did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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