im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
