Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
