Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
