She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
