What a fucking waste of an outfit
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
how does that bad decision feel?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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