Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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