just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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