I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
