i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
