somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
