It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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