Got a toothbrush?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize