So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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