okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
