Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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