I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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