Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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